During a routine police patrol, an officer parked his car
outside a bar in Kinston, North Carolina. After last call, the officer
noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could
barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes,
with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on
five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into
it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the
bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on
and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and
off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’
vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time,
now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly
pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence
that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer
said, ‘I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This
breathalyzer equipment must be broken.’
‘I doubt it,’ said the truly proud Redneck. ‘Tonight I’m the designated decoy.’
